I know first-hand how tough it can be to recover from a blow to confidence. After a bad experience with a client, I felt like I needed to prove myself. Fortunately, I had a lot of great work experiences where I knew I was a valuable team member and leader. I was able to put the bad experience in perspective and not let my confidence sink too low. Regardless, we can still get rattled.
Here are the actions I took to restore my confidence.
- I took accountability for how I contributed to the situation. I reflected about what I could have done differently. In one situation, I learned that I didn't focus enough on the relationship and I learned the 20% solution is often better than the 100% solution. Since making this change, I've had more success in delivering results and strengthening relationships.
- Let go of the rest. It's okay. Really. If you can't do anything about the situation or how other people respond, what's the cost of worrying about or dwelling on the negative? Imagine what could happen if you applied the energy you spend worrying towards more positive efforts?
- If the decrease of confidence is due to the interactions with one or a few people, evaluate the importance of the relationship.
- If the relationship is important, what can you do to show how you've learned from your mistakes? What can you do to repair the relationship?
- If the relationship is not important, what steps can you take to remove yourself from the situation? What else will be impacted when you distance yourself? What are the risks? What are the benefits?
- If the decrease in confidence is because you didn't get the results you wanted, identify ways to bridge the gap. Who can you learn from? What additional skills do you need to develop? What's needed to pick yourself up and try again? Remove self doubt.
- Compare the beliefs you had when you were confident to the beliefs you have now. What's different? What's needed to restore those original beliefs?
After considering the tips above, what are the one or two actions you will take this week to restore your confidence?
Bonus tip: As I reread the tips, I realized I missed a big one. Reconnect with people who lift your spirits.
What suggestions do you have for reboosting one's confidence?